Refugee Life

barbed-wire fences
bordered and restricted
tight rigorous security
an abyss of depression, anxiety
roofless open-air prison
more agony than hellfire

parents lost children
children lost parents
wives lost husbands
husbands lost wives
fleeing from the battleground

driven out from my homeland
my estate bulldozed
existence demolished
cracked down over and over in diverse ways
burnt homes and looted properties
eradicating our roots and heritage
all because we demanded our basic rights.

still, eyes shed tears hugely.
the traumas cannot be hidden
appearing always as nightmares
making me intoxicated and unconscious
disordering my mental health

no moment habitable
no tranquil place to be alive
under the tarpaulin
in 6-5 yards of shelter
an abundance of monotony.

in monsoon when it rains
some enshrouded by Italian-branded blankets
some on beds on luxury
some take cosiness and the taste of rain
but, I find myself always crippled

after the rains and storm
at least the sky looks clear
but in my worldly life
why is it so grey and cloudy yet?

my entire world has changed
when it made me a vagrant
perpetually exchanging my karma
my obviously worsened days
a life too exhausted and agitated

life is more than horrific
this refugee life
no systematic lifestyle
no comfortable livelihood
no peaceful longevity

while I die from starvation
others giggle and dance on my pains
implementing business through NGOs
hypocritical gestures
arising from altruistic deeds.

don’t know why
some feel pleased to see me in this life
cringing, all nights appear as nightmares
filled with bad memories
giving rise to the subconscious
negligibility and uncertainty as always

being a refugee on this earth
marginalised and discriminated
it’s an absolutely different world
like a brief sojourn on the mountain
neither happiness nor peace
in an unjust world
where no one wants me to live as a human being.

my life to be unintroduced
my eyes unopened to anywhere
my mind restricted to go further
cuffed at the hands and legs
given so-called security and safety
badly fulfilled needs by NGOs
except I never felt safe nor secure
nor competent nor fulfilled
by your pretentious gestures
to my refugee life.